Windows Live Messenger, Bleach Version
by Good Omens
Summary: Ichigo centered story with SLASH and CURSING and so on. Don't like? Don't read. Will take long to update.
1. Chapter 1, Home Alone or?

If you DON'T LIKE SLASH, gtfo. If you DON'T like Ichigo centered fics, again, GTFO. WARNING this WILL have CURSING and OTHER STUFF which I'm unsure of at the moment. So if you're one of those 'prissy?' people and all that and needs everything perfect and all that then THIS FIC IS NOT FOR YOU. Thank you for your attention. :3

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

* * *

Ichigo sat down on his chair and turned on his laptop, then logged online on Windows Live Messenger.

The first thing popping up was several friend requests, perhaps even 30, shocking him. And reading the first request he realized that Soul Society must have finally caught up with the modern world of living. But he still wondered how they'd gotten his msn.

* * *

**HotStuffRenji** _would like to add you as a friend_.

* * *

He snickered at the name but added him all the same. Opening the next one he raised an eyebrow at the name in slight confusion but accepted anyway.

* * *

**AmbassadorSeaweed*** _would like to add you as a friend_.

* * *

And there were several others hinting at Rukia, Ikkaku, Yumichika and several others. Hell, even Ukitake-san!

After accepting them all he went to change his own name; he'd gotten bored with **Deathly Substitute**.

Just as he'd changed his name, an invitation to a group conversation popped up.

* * *

_You have been invited to _**Shinigamis' Chat**_. Accept? Decline?_

* * *

So obviously there were only Shinigami in there or those who knew of them. He accepted it, curious of who it was that wanted to talk to him.

* * *

**HotStuffRenji** _says_:

OY ICHIGO, sup? :D

**My Name's Not Strawberry** _says_:

Nothing much, Renji. Just got back from beating some Hollows. Wbu?

**Chappy Rocks!** _says_:

Ichigo! You should mind your manners and say hello to the rest of us! :

**My Name's Not Strawberry** _says_:

...Rukia? Should've known you'd use a name like that. xD

* * *

Ichigo then looked at the list of the people there. So far it was him, Renji, Rukia, and nobody else. That's when a small window popped up.

* * *

**AmbassadorSeaweed** _has just signed in_.

* * *

And then two more a second after the unknown contact.

* * *

**Soccer Rox** _has just signed in_.

**Hitsugaya-Taicho **_has just signed in_.

* * *

Ichigo raised an eyebrow. Karin and Toshiro had logged in at the same time, coincidence? He let it go for now, he'd ask Karin later if she wanted to tell him anything.

He turned his attention back to the chat just in time to see a question from Rukia.

* * *

**Chappy Rocks!** _says_:

Soooo Ichigo, when'll you admit you're gay anyway? :3

* * *

Ichigo choked. He was NOT gay! ...Well he might be bi but NOT gay!

* * *

**HotStuffRenji **_says_:

WOAH, you're GAY, Ichigo! :O

* * *

And apparently Rukia had just added more people to the conversation as he got more shocked questions.

* * *

**Hitsugaya-Taicho** _says_:

Kurosaki's gay? o.O Figures.

**Quincy's Last** _says_:

My, my, Kurosaki... Does this mean you're sleeping with someone?

* * *

Ichigo glared at the screen.

* * *

**My Name's Not Strawberry **_says_:

FYI, I am NOT gay and why do you even want to know about my sex life? o.O Are YOU gay, Ishida?

**Quincy's Last** _says_:

NO!

**HotStuffRenji **_says_:

LOL, how can you NOT be gay, Ishida? XD With the clothes you wear, how you do girly stuff... XD

* * *

Ichigo froze. _Uh oh_. Renji shouldn't have said that last part...

* * *

**Chappy Rocks!** _says_:

GIRLY stuff, Renji...? :

**HotStuffRenji** _says_:

Oh no, that's not what I meant Rukia! O_O

**Quincy's Last** _says_:

For your information, Abarai, women happen to LIKE males whom can sew, cook and other things you deem 'girly'. -_-

**Hitsugaya-Taicho** _says_:

That's funny, I thought Kurosaki were together with Ishida.

* * *

EW! was the only thought Ichigo could process. Not that he let that stop him from replying.

* * *

**My Name's Not Strawberry** _says_:

HELL NO! Like I'd even CONSIDER that stuck up asshole! He's way too irritating. :P

**AmbassadorSeaweed** _says_:

Is that so, Kurosaki? Then you would be with another male?

* * *

Ichigo's eyes widened, there was that unknown person that he'd accepted the friend request from. And he knew Ichigo!

* * *

**Chappy Rocks! **_says_:

NII-SAMA! :D How did it go? Do you find your contacts to your liking? I added everyone I could think of! And did you like the name!

* * *

WOAH, that was Byakuya! Ichigo stared at the screen.

* * *

**AmbassadorSeaweed **_says_:

You did well, Rukia. The name is as magnificent as our art.

* * *

Ichigo snickered to himself. As their art? That was for sure! Their art was hideous!

* * *

**AmbassadorSeaweed **_says_:

Well, Kurosaki? Are you going to answer me or not?

* * *

Ichigo frowned and looked back up to the question, having forgotten it already.

* * *

**My Name's Not Strawberry **_says_:

Well being bi would help with that, I don't mind the gender. Just the attitudes and all that shit.

**Hitsugaya-Taicho **_says_:

Kurosaki. I'm coming to the living world tomorrow and will be staying for the weekend. May I stay at your place?

**AmbassadorSeaweed **_says_:

You do not have to trouble yourself with the Ryoka, Hitsugaya-Taicho. Why not stay with that human girl as you did last time?

**My Name's Not Strawberry **_says_:

OY, stop calling me that already. D: And why should there be something wrong with him staying with me? :(

**Hitsugaya-Taicho** _says_:

I'd rather not, Matsumoto will be staying there. Plus I know that Yuzu-san is way better at cooking than Inoue-san. I'd rather not get food poisoning.

* * *

Ichigo was slightly interrupted from typing back by another message but sent his answer right after it disappeared.

* * *

**Soccer Rox **_has signed out._

* * *

**My Name's Not Strawberry **_says_:

That's your only reason? D: Besides, Yuzu won't be home this weekend. No one except me will.

**AmbassadorSeaweed **_says_:

Then how do you plan to survive? Obviously you need food. Unless the girl has cooked ready food for the weekend for you to heat?

**Hitsugaya-Taicho **_says_:

Yes, Kurosaki. I'd like to know that as well. o.O

**My Name's Not Strawberry **_says_:

Well obviously I'm cooking myself. I don't want Yuzu to exhaust herself by trying to cook enough for a weekend when she's supposed to be having fun with Goat-Face and Karin.

* * *

And in an amazing synchronization their shocked answers came.

* * *

**Hitsugaya-Taicho **_says_:

You can cook! :O O_O

**AmbassadorSeaweed** _says_:

You can cook! :O O_O

**My Name's Not Strawberry **_says_:

-_- Who do you think taught Yuzu? Obviously Goat-Face would burn the house down and Karin was the same age.

**AmbassadorSeaweed **_says_:

Why not your mother? o.O

**Hitsugaya-Taicho **_says_:

Where IS your mother anyway? I haven't heard anything about her at all...

* * *

Ichigo flinched at the questions. He wished they hadn't asked, but wouldn't refuse them their answers when they could find out from Rukia anyway.

**

* * *

**

My Name's Not Strawberry

_says_:

She's dead. Has been since I was nine and the girls were five.

**AmbassadorSeaweed **_says_:

I apologize then.

**Hitsugaya-Taicho** _says_:

Would you like to talk about it?

**My Name's Not Strawberry **_says_:

No thanks, I'd rather not... Anyway, I'm going to log off now. Got to go say bye to the girls. You can stay here if you'd like, Toshiro. Since I'll be alone, there'll be some space. Laters, everyone.

**AmbassadorSeaweed **_says_:

Good bye Kurosaki.

**Hitsugaya-Taicho**_says_:

See you tomorrow then, Kurosaki.

**Chappy Rocks! **_says_:

BYE ICHIGO! :D

**Quincy's Last** _says_:

Bye Kurosaki.

**HotStuffRenji **_says_:

Later Strawberry! ;3

* * *

Ichigo having clicked Log Out just as the last message came, couldn't answer the insult. He frowned but turned off the computer anyway.

* * *

* - I got this name from the only other WLM story I've seen of Bleach by aNiMeInVaDeR.


	2. Chapter 2, Momo's still Crazy

**A/N: I have no excuses for the lateness. Simply know that the more often people review, the more I'm reminded that I actually have this fic out there and the faster I'll remember to write. ...And yes, that's blackmailing all of you into reviewing. Is it helping?  
**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

Though it was only 7 in the morning and he had been online last night, Ichigo still felt like it had been ages since he had checked his email and been on msn at all.

So it didn't take him long to log on, only after he'd gotten a shower and some breakfast. He still walked around in his boxers though; it was after all still a while until Toshiro was to come.

Amazingly the first thing popping up was a few friend requests which he didn't know who where but could take a guess on at least one of them.

* * *

**Baldy Sucks! **_would like to add you as a friend._

* * *

The only one that could be was Hiyori. Had Urahara tipped the Vaizards off on Soul Society getting emails? Probably.

So if one of them was Hiyori, the others had to be the Vaizards too, right? At least, that's what Ichigo guessed as he accepted the requests.

That's when another window popped up.

* * *

**Chappy Rocks! **_says: _

Good morning, Ichigo! What'cha up to? :D

* * *

Ichigo sighed, figures he'd still get an annoying greeting even if goat-face wasn't home. Then he wondered if she'd try to kick his ass if he ignored her, but replied anyway. Just in case.

* * *

**My Name's Not Strawberry **_says_:

Hey Rukia, nothing much. Just checking msn before having breakfast. And you?

**Chappy Rocks!** _says: _

Lol, kay! Same really, thought I'd get in some net-time before having to finish writing up my reports.

Anyway, got2go! Bye!

**My Name's Not Strawberry** _says: _

See you later, then.

* * *

No sooner had he clicked out that window, another one popped up.

* * *

**The Grin that got me Laid **_would like to add you as a friend._

* * *

Ichigo raised an eyebrow but curiosity got him in the end, as he accepted the invite. He couldn't really decide who he thought it was, but Kyouraku Shunshui was a guess. But then, so was Gin, Renji, and several other guys.

* * *

**The Grin that got me Laid** _says: _

OY, Ichigo! What's up?

**My Name's Not Strawberry **_says: _

Nothing much, you? And for that matter? Who the hell are you anyway?

**The Grin that got me Laid **_says: _

But Ichigo! How can you not know? I'm hurt. :( It's me, the better Shiba!

* * *

Ichigo paused and thought about it. It was either Shuukaku or Ganju and to be honest, he wasn't sure who it was. And when he thought about it, acording to plenty of people Kaien was the best. He grinned.

* * *

**My Name's Not Strawberry **_says: _

OH! So you're the famous Kaien. Nice. Thought you were dead though.

**The Grin that got me Laid **_says: _

-_- Not funny, Kurosaki. I'm Ganju. The cool guy who helped you out when you had to save Kuchiki, remember?

**My Name's Not Strawberry **_says: _

There was no 'cool guy' helping me out. o.O

* * *

Ichigo sniggered slightly, Ganju was fun to tease. As he was watching the screen for a response - no doubt a rude one, he saw a small window pop up.

* * *

_You have been invited to_** Enough is Enough! **_Accept? Decline?_

* * *

Raising an eyebrow, he ignored the message Ganju had sent and accepted the invitation and watched it reveal a chat with no messages.

* * *

**My Name's Not Strawberry **_says: _

Hello? Anyone here?

**Baldy Sucks! **_says: _

Oh, it's the Strawberry! Yo.

**My Name's Not Strawberry **_says: _

Funny. Real witty of you. Can't you read? My name's NOT Strawberry!

**It's All Just a Dream **_says: _

Hai, hai, Kurosaki! You've got to admit you remind people of one though. :D

* * *

Ichigo's left eye twitched and he felt the urge to kick something. Preferably the people he was chatting to.

* * *

**Sweets are the World **_says: _

Be nice, guys! Bullying is bad!

**It's All Just a Dream **_says: _

As you wish, Ukitake-san!

* * *

Ichigo was impressed. Even Ukitake-Taicho had msn now? Nice!

* * *

**My Name's Not Strawberry **_says: _

So who's the rest of you people?

**Sweets are the World **_says: _

Well, I'm Ukitake Jyuushiro of course and **It's All Just a Dream **is Urahara Kisuke. :) I don't know who else is on here though. :(

**Hitsugaya-Taicho **_says: _

I'm here too, and so is Momo and Matsumoto.

* * *

Ichigo blinked, Toshiro still hadn't left Soul Society? Well, easy enough to find out.

* * *

**My Name's Not Strawberry **_says: _

Oh, hey Toshiro! What'cha up to?

**Hitsugaya-Taicho **_says: _

Getting ready to leave. And trying to get Matsumoto to hurry up.

**All Play and No Work **_says: _

But Taichoooooo. I still haven't found my favorite shirt. :( Or my sake! D:

* * *

Ichigo snorted. Only Matsumoto would complain about Sake. Toshiro was going to have to tie her up and drag her to the living world if he wanted to get here soon.

* * *

**Hitsugaya-Taico **_says: _

Oh for the love of-! Matsumoto, we're leaving in an hour and if you haven't gotten all your stuff ready then, you'll leave without it. That's an order!

**All Play and No Work **_says: _

D: NOOOO. Sorry Ichigo, got to go! Bye!

**My Name's Not Strawberry **_says: _

Bye Matsumoto-San.

**Hitsugaya-Taicho **_says: _

I'd better go make sure she actually gets her stuff. I'll see you later, Ichigo. Bye everyone.

**My Name's Not Strawberry **_says: _

See you later, Toshiro.

* * *

**All Play and No Work** _and_ **Hitsugaya-Taicho** _has logged off._

* * *

**I Love Aizen-Sama! **_says: _

Awww, Toshiro and Rangiku-san left?

**My Name's Not Strawberry **_says: _

...Hinamori-san? And yeah, they just went off like a few seconds ago.

**I Love Aizen-Sama! **_says: _

Yep! How'd you guess? :D

**My Name's Not Strawberry **_says: _

Oh, just this feeling I had. Anyway, I'm going to go now. I have to fix some lunch. Talk to you later, maybe.

**I Love Aizen-Sama! **_says: _

Oh, okay. Bye Kurosaki-San!

**Pretty Feathers** _says: _

Goodbye Ichi-Chan!

* * *

Ignoring the last one as he didn't know who it was, he signed out of msn before rising from the chair and stretching slightly. It was time to get some food and check if Goat-face's room was clean or if he'd have to clean it himself.


End file.
